Degrees of Attention

Attention is something most people desire. Our culture has told us to crave it. Everyone wants their fifteen seconds of fame, even if its just to one other person. Attention is often the sole motivation for many peoples' actions. This is a weakness that can and should be exploited.

Let's talk about attention in degrees. The first degree is no attention at all. If you give another person no attention at all, they will respond in one of two ways. They will either (1) believe that you're entirely insignifcant to them and respond in kind or (2) see that as a challenge and act to get attention from you. At this point it is a question of giving attention or not. This is a good opportunity for exploitation but it's an all-or-nothing scenario. If you misevaluate the other person, you may receive no response when you wanted one or attract a response when you didn't.

The second degree is equivalent attention. This means you never give the other person attention until they direct attention to you. It's a zero-sum game, neither of you is giving more attention than the other person. It's the idea that every action has a reaction and nothing more. It's fairly low level and non-committal. The danger of this is it can become a waiting game and ultimately mean that you'll never get any. The positive side is that you don't come off as needy and desperate, and it sets up non-committal relationship boundaries.

The third degree is fun, unlike a third degree prison term. This is when you give attention for a certain period of time (not so much it makes the other person uncomfortable) and then cut it off. People often fail at this strategy because (1) they go overboard into the fourth degree or (2) they don't know how to read verbal and non-verbal reactions to the attention. The third degree is effective when you can keep track of multiple variables: quantity of attention, type of attention, quantity of reaction, and type of reaction. This includes verbal and non-verbal communication. The key to this strategy being successful is to keep the quantity of attention equivalent (second degree) but change up the type of attention as much as possible. That means you are unpredictable, creative, and everything else that a woman (or man) loves. In any conversation, one of the parties will tire out. The art of the strategy is knowing to end the conversation before they're tired but no sooner. Get in, do your thing, and get out. If they come back to you, then you're good and continue the game. If they don't come back then move on. After initial contact, never re-initiate contact. There is a reason this is the longest paragraph: the third degree has the highest success rate and you really can't go wrong with it if you pull it off well. Otherwise, you're dead, give up- hang yourself in your garage.

The fourth degree is all attention, no let-up. This degree always fails. Giving the other person exclusive attention over a period of time tells them you are desperate, horny, clueless, extremely unattractive, have low self esteem, want to hang yourself in your garage (and probably should), etc. This degree presents no challenge to the other party, and that tells them that you are also easy. Don't use this degree.

Choose the degree that fits your skill level, or improve your skill level.